Sometimes Cliches Feel Good

It's sad really... the things we take for granted. But before I get there...

I woke up yesterday morning to stinging eyes and a blurry halo wrapped around the screen of my phone. Any level of light created an intense burning and watering, so I clumsily fumbled for my glasses and tried to focus on my own bloodshot eyes in the mirror. Hoping the sting would wear off, I ratcheted the shower on, closed my eyes, and let the water stream over my face. Unfortunately it didn't help, but with the lights dimmed and my eyes squinting, I managed to get myself looking presentable.

As I got to school, tears welled uncontrollably, but I shamelessly took my duty post in the main hallway, ready to greet every little face. Despite my efforts, the bright lights became nearly unbearable (and I became self-conscious), so I sought relief just inside the darkened gym.

To my extreme dismay, one of my coworkers was standing there as well... talking to my assistant principal.

"Morning," I said as I pretended to look for a student, a meager attempt to hide my eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" asked my coworker.

"Uhhh... I don't know. Some... eye... thing...."

Now the principal chimed in. "Are you crying?"

"Oh no! Definitely not." I managed an awkward chuckle. "I don't know... they're just stinging." This was humiliating.

"I think you should go get that checked out. You do not look good. We'll work on getting a sub."

"No no... It'll wear off."

"Don't worry about it."

I politely nodded and told them I'd go prepare things so I could leave. I took a route that allowed me to avoid student contact, but soon they came funneling in for homeroom. Of course there were comments. Some seemed concerned. More seemed intrigued... probably hoping there was some juicy reason I may have been crying. I should've made up a fantastic story but I didn't have the energy.

While I wouldn't have admitted it then, the substitute brought with him a huge wave of relief. I picked up my bag, bid my students farewell, and quickly made my way out.

~

Later yesterday evening, when my $100 eye drops began to take effect, I started thinking about how little I really appreciate my sense of sight. It's something I don't think about, yet it's certainly the one sense I would prefer to keep if I had to choose.

I started thinking about the things I see every day, some of which I've come to loathe. Brake lights on the way to work. School buses making frequent stops on the two lane country road I take to school. Eyes rolling in response to my so-called nerdy tendencies. Shirts untucked, shoes untied, pants unbelted, and hair unkempt. I loathe my bedside clock that seems to scream at me in the waning hours of the night, "It's time to go to sleep! You're going to hate me even more in the morning!" I loathe the blue cloth seats in my new hybrid and that zit on my chin that just won't go away. I hate the sight of run-on sentences and sloppy handwriting and misused homophones. I hate the look of my glasses - the ones that solidified my "nerdy rep" today... but how dare I turn my nose up at the very thing that helps me see all those things I'm blessed to see?

Like a light bulb moment in a twelve-year-old's eyes. Or my little sister's smile on Christmas morning. I understand that these things sound nauseatingly cliche. I suppose they're nauseatingly cliche until you can't see them anymore. I suppose I could complain about an eye infection that will be gone by tomorrow. But instead I think I'll choose to be thankful for it... because while I spent most of yesterday keeping my eyes tightly closed, maybe it was meant to open them to some of the things I've been taking for granted. (How's that for a cliche?)