A couple weeks before winter break, I entered my room after school to find a neatly folded sheet of paper on my otherwise tidy desk. Bleeding through the notebook paper I could see "Ms. B" written in cursive with fine point Sharpie. Immediately intrigued, I unfolded and began reading. Here is what it said:
Ms. B,
I really enjoy reading your website every week. It's really good. I like how you make your reader feel like we're there because that's what we're working on in class with our senses and stuff. Please don't be mad that we found it. The only reason we knew you had a website was because we heard about it from another 7th grade friend.
I really think you did the right thing with A and C's note. I hope you don't figure out who this is by the handwriting like you did with theirs. But I think you're right about Mississippi and the sex education stuff. It would be great if we had more teachers who cared like that.
Love,
Your seventh grade student
PS. Please don't be mad.
In going back now, I suppose I can find a way to be flattered. In reading it for the first time though, fear crept into every corner of my body. My legs began to go numb the way they do when you narrowly avoid a car wreck. My moist finger tips stuck to the paper as I sat down in my chair, eyes still glued to the words. I wasn't sure at first if the note was serious or not. It almost seemed sarcastic, and considering my less than flattering analysis of my administration in said "website," I was mortified - even scared for my job. I began thinking of how reckless it had been for me to put such things out for public consumption. Of course my students found it. All you have to do is Google my name and up pops Teacher Corps and a link to my blog. If seventh graders were reading it, was my administration?
I got up to begin straightening desks. My hands shook as I erased the board and swept the floor. My heart was racing to the point that even those menial tasks made me winded. I must have looked disturbed because when my friend Mr. Gioia walked in he immediately asked what was wrong. I handed him the note and as he read, he smiled.
"This is adorable!"
"What?!"
"Seriously... didn't this make you smile?"
"Uh no... it wasn't a positive blog... a kid used the word 'sex' in a note... to me... oh my God..."
Whether I agreed with him or not, his perspective began to put me at ease. I can tell you now that nothing has happened as a result of that blog (or that note), but in the weeks that followed, I couldn't bring myself to write a new one. That part of my daily (ok sometimes weekly) routine suddenly brought feelings of nausea stemming from some irrational fear that I had inadvertently attached bad karma to anything I typed... and that I may have gotten myself fired.
Now that my fear has subsided, I've regained the desire to blog. I was sad to abandon my old one. If it had been up to me, I would've kept it, but admittedly it had gotten a little old to constantly write about school - after all, it already consumes most of waking seconds. It's going to feel good to start a blog that's for me... no requirements from grad school... no worries about who will read it and what they will think. This one's for me, and hopefully the occasional reader will get, at the very least, a new perspective.
So as I ring in the new year, I've included my favorites from the old blog, while turning over a new leaf with the new one, vowing to release my daily musings and ponderings - whether they're school related or not.
Ms. B,
I really enjoy reading your website every week. It's really good. I like how you make your reader feel like we're there because that's what we're working on in class with our senses and stuff. Please don't be mad that we found it. The only reason we knew you had a website was because we heard about it from another 7th grade friend.
I really think you did the right thing with A and C's note. I hope you don't figure out who this is by the handwriting like you did with theirs. But I think you're right about Mississippi and the sex education stuff. It would be great if we had more teachers who cared like that.
Love,
Your seventh grade student
PS. Please don't be mad.
In going back now, I suppose I can find a way to be flattered. In reading it for the first time though, fear crept into every corner of my body. My legs began to go numb the way they do when you narrowly avoid a car wreck. My moist finger tips stuck to the paper as I sat down in my chair, eyes still glued to the words. I wasn't sure at first if the note was serious or not. It almost seemed sarcastic, and considering my less than flattering analysis of my administration in said "website," I was mortified - even scared for my job. I began thinking of how reckless it had been for me to put such things out for public consumption. Of course my students found it. All you have to do is Google my name and up pops Teacher Corps and a link to my blog. If seventh graders were reading it, was my administration?
I got up to begin straightening desks. My hands shook as I erased the board and swept the floor. My heart was racing to the point that even those menial tasks made me winded. I must have looked disturbed because when my friend Mr. Gioia walked in he immediately asked what was wrong. I handed him the note and as he read, he smiled.
"This is adorable!"
"What?!"
"Seriously... didn't this make you smile?"
"Uh no... it wasn't a positive blog... a kid used the word 'sex' in a note... to me... oh my God..."
Whether I agreed with him or not, his perspective began to put me at ease. I can tell you now that nothing has happened as a result of that blog (or that note), but in the weeks that followed, I couldn't bring myself to write a new one. That part of my daily (ok sometimes weekly) routine suddenly brought feelings of nausea stemming from some irrational fear that I had inadvertently attached bad karma to anything I typed... and that I may have gotten myself fired.
Now that my fear has subsided, I've regained the desire to blog. I was sad to abandon my old one. If it had been up to me, I would've kept it, but admittedly it had gotten a little old to constantly write about school - after all, it already consumes most of waking seconds. It's going to feel good to start a blog that's for me... no requirements from grad school... no worries about who will read it and what they will think. This one's for me, and hopefully the occasional reader will get, at the very least, a new perspective.
So as I ring in the new year, I've included my favorites from the old blog, while turning over a new leaf with the new one, vowing to release my daily musings and ponderings - whether they're school related or not.
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