A Change of (Valentine's Day) Heart

I thought about writing the obligatory single girl rant about Valentine's Day, but I think that's overdone. When it comes to being a love skeptic, I'm of the first class variety. So yes, I'm also one of those people who thinks that V-Day is a day created by Hallmark and Hershey's - a money-making ploy aimed at teenage lovers and twenty-somethings who are faking it. I've always thought that Valentine's Day was probably viewed to be pointless by those who are truly in love, because to them, isn't every day February 14th? Or do relationships like that even exist at all...? So you see my inner dilemma: I'm at the same time a hopeless romantic and a jaded skeptic. But we're a dime a dozen, I'm sure.

For the last couple years, I've done my best to ignore these couple of weeks in mid-February, throwing myself into all things devoid of romance. I've avoided the candy and card aisles at the store, read mystery novels, and chosen action movies instead of romantic comedies. I've joked about the fact that flowers and teddy bears will not be coming my way, and I've really, truly been fine with that. Really.

So today when I checked the mail and found, among bank statements and junk, a pink envelope addressed to me, the possibility that it was a Valentine's Day card did not even cross my mind. But then I realized I've done nothing to deserve a thank you note and my birthday is five months away... maybe it's S's wedding invitation. All of these thoughts occurred to me in the 10 second gap between seeing that envelope and registering the familiar, shaky handwriting scrawled on the front.

I grinned as I slit the seal with my pinky and pulled out a card which displayed a pink heart wrapped in flowers. It said simply, "Happy Valentine's Day." Inside I found a one dollar bill and a small window decal made of pastel flowers, and in that same familiar handwriting, it said, "Happy Valentine's Day Punkin. I love you, Nana."

Now... here's the point at which some of you will choose to take pity on the poor single girl who will get nothing but a card, a dollar, and a sticker from her Nana for Valentine's Day. But hopefully those who know me well can imagine how broad my smile became as I held that dainty sticker in one hand, the dollar in the other. You may also know that it sent my thoughts spinning in a million different directions as I considered any number of symbolic implications. I wondered if, despite my vocal condemnation of this holiday, I would've been happier to receive flowers from a boyfriend. That thought was quickly replaced with the knowledge that my reaction to flowers would've likely been an over-analysis in itself, complete with thoughts like, "Why can't you think to send these on a random Tuesday in May?" or "I hope you didn't overpay for these because they can charge extra this time of year."

But I soon steadied myself and chose to put aside that unbalanced stream of thoughts, choosing to focus instead on how lucky I was to have received anything... especially from someone who had not done it out of obligation or to prove some kind of superficial love. Sure, she contributed a couple bucks to the Valentine's Day machine, but maybe that's ok if it's done for the right reasons. Maybe when the day comes that I get a card from someone besides my grandmother, I'll remember today and take it a little easier on the guy who sends it.